At its core, conscious parenting means becoming conscious, or aware, of all the ways that our own childhoods and subsequent life experiences, create belief systems which colour the lenses through which we see our children and their behaviour.

These lenses often prevent us from seeing the real child in front of us which causes disconnection in our relationships with them. Often these lenses mean that we react unconsciously to our children’s behaviour with an intense, emotional reaction (feeling triggered) such as anger or anxiety.

The journey of becoming a conscious parent involves working on our own emotional health so that we are able to recognise when the feelings our children are provoking in us have more to do with our own unresolved emotional issues than they do with our children. Once we are able to do that, we can respond to our child in a calmer way, informed by our knowledge of child development and shaped by an understanding of what this specific child needs at this particular present moment.

Over time, as we are able to really see our children and to relate to them in a way which doesn’t impose so much of our own emotional energy onto them, we find our way to real connection with our children, leading to relationships based on open communication and mutual respect in which our children can thrive on their childhood journeys of discovering who they are in this world.